Douglas Adams is Dead

At the end of your life there are three things that might be said, thing one is something along the lines of "he was a great guy he affected many people along the way" and is generally bullshit,  thing two goes "he was loved by all and hated by none" which is absolutely untrue of anyone, and thing three "he changed things" and that's the one I'm looking for.  Because its not enough that my soul lives on in eternity for me it has to live on here.  Call it machismo, ultimate vanity but I feel it coarsing through my veins like Achilles.  Its all seems so consequential though, and if you don't know the right people and you don't get lucky nothing ever happens and your forty years old with a mortgage and a hobby, if you're lucky.  Some people don't even end up with a hobby, it turns out hobbies are work, and work is work too, and watching TV isn't work.  I don't have the answer, especially if you don't get lucky or if you're too lazy to make the luck happen.  I don't think any of the great men that we quote all the time had any idea of the windfalls that had to happen to make them Winston Churchill or Ben Franklin.  Lets say that you even get the chances they do, who's to say you don't get hit by a drunk driver and sustain a head injury that leaves  you talking in all vowel sounds for the rest of your life.  I just need someone to emulate, because that's what I'm good at.

God is my hope, He is my rock and my salvation.